I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
