And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize