epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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