Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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