I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
