he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
