when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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