help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dicks are not precious.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
