i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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