i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
