Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
