Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
