He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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