Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize