Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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