he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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