I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
