I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
