i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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