he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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