Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
