the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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