with your own penis?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Found the puke drawer
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
