Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
two words: eviction party
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
