Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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