if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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