the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My feet surprised me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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