Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
