For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
