so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
