Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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