i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
