im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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