there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
