And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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