note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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