I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i dont even know how to be here
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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