Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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