also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
