went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize