HIV tests are more positive than that guy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
