So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize