that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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