Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
