she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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