He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
