We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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