cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize