Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
