those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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