He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
