I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
