Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
