Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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