What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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