i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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