I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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