so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
