let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
