After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
