i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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