did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
